Not Well

Since early spring I have not been feeling well. I got a little better for the summer, document.write(“”); but now it is getting even worse. I really don’t know why I am feeling so tired, but the doctor sent me for some tests and I’ve been too busy lately to go (there’s also the fact that my schedule doesn’t really fit with the opening hours of the clinic). But I really must go take those tests next week!

Mostly I am feeling often tired, sleepy (but I already sleep more than usual and even take naps!), apathetic. I feel like out of energy, laking motivation, like if something died inside me (like a zombie!). However, the biggest problem is a total lack of concentration. It is not really a problem when I am doing technical or manual stuff like the shipping or layout, but it makes editing and writing like an herculean work and it is quite frustrating. It takes me hours just to process a few paragraphs. Once I am in it, it is not that bad, but the slightest distraction (a phone call, a e-mail, an IM) will break the rythm and it will take me a long time to resume work. And if I try too hard I get a terrible headache. I feel like i am moving in slow-motion and everything around me is flying by fast. Days and weeks a passing by without me barely realizing it. I barely saw the summer. All this is quite depressing.

I know I am not in perfect shape, but at least I have a very healthy alimentation. I just need more exercice (and to check my blood pressure and the glucose level). What could be causing this? Is this age? Premature senelity? Dementia? Can’t be, I am just a little over 40. Is this a kind of depression, a mid-life crisis? I don’t have any reasons to be depressed, I have everything that I could want: a loving wife, a fun job that I like, lots of DVDs, books and gadgets to entertain myself. I just need to be able to concentrate on my job!

I suspect it could be a kind of hormone imbalance. Hopefully, I’ll soon find the cause and a way to get rid of it. Because it is really driving me crazy!

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